Yatbaffot is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid crab.

Yatbaffot created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatbaffot, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yatbaffot, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Yatbaffot's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Yatbaffot's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never feed turnips to hamsters while wearing trousers.

5. Never feed peanuts to aardvarks while wearing green tights.