Hatlikgep is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, smart snake.

Hatlikgep created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatlikgep, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hatlikgep, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hatlikgep's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Hatlikgep's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always look after injured pigs.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Do not take Hatlikgep's name in vain.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.