Nuttruttnab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, deceitful monkey.

Nuttruttnab created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Nuttruttnab, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nuttruttnab, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Nuttruttnab's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Nuttruttnab's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Nuttruttnab.

2. Always help sick badgers.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never paint your head purple.

5. Do not drink alcohol.