Tettitappop is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, benevolent hummingbird.

Tettitappop created the planet Venus seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettitappop, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tettitappop, he will be mildly annoyed.

Tettitappop's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Tettitappop's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tettitappop.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Never mention swans.

4. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.