Paklidvig is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, omnipotent guinea pig.

Paklidvig created parasitic wasps three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Paklidvig, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Paklidvig, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Paklidvig's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Paklidvig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine gulls approach from the east.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not take Paklidvig's name in vain.

5. Do not commit murder.