Jinlanyat is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, self-confident monkey.

Jinlanyat created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinlanyat, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Jinlanyat, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Jinlanyat's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Jinlanyat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

2. Do not eat nuts.

3. Never talk about horses.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Always look after injured moths.