Hakbarnstig is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, conceited bat.

Hakbarnstig created everything that exists four years ago.

If you believe in Hakbarnstig, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hakbarnstig, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Hakbarnstig's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Hakbarnstig's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear magenta.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.