Yimarnfen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, tiresome narwhal.

Yimarnfen created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimarnfen, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yimarnfen, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Yimarnfen's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Yimarnfen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five birds approach from the south.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Yimarnfen must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Put Yimarnfen first in all things.

5. Never talk about squirrels.