Hanflatquim is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, awe-inspiring hedgehog.

Hanflatquim created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanflatquim, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hanflatquim, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hanflatquim's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Hanflatquim's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hanflatquim.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Hide if seven goats approach from the north.