Stanlarnnan is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, moody faun.

Stanlarnnan created snails four billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanlarnnan, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Stanlarnnan, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Stanlarnnan's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Stanlarnnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Stanlarnnan loves voles, so they must be respected.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about asteroids.