Caplarpzod is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, tranquil bee.

Caplarpzod created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Caplarpzod, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Caplarpzod, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Caplarpzod's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Caplarpzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Caplarpzod loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

3. Worship no other gods but Caplarpzod.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not drink alcohol.