Tagyarlyattpog is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, humane pig.

Tagyarlyattpog created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tagyarlyattpog, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tagyarlyattpog, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tagyarlyattpog's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Tagyarlyattpog's Holy Commandments

1. Tagyarlyattpog loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Never paint your feet black.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always look after injured whales.