Ortbessbet is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, benevolent centaur.

Ortbessbet created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortbessbet, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ortbessbet, it will turn you into a rat.

Ortbessbet's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Ortbessbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black kilts.

2. Do not kill goats.

3. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Ortbessbet in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

5. Run away from white dogs, for they are unholy.