Mutcepquill is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, quiet squirrel.

Mutcepquill created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Mutcepquill, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Mutcepquill, she will turn you into a mole.

Mutcepquill's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Mutcepquill's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Mutcepquill.

4. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never pour water over plants.