Tikcemfen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, moody armadillo.

Tikcemfen created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikcemfen, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tikcemfen, he will destroy your home planet.

Tikcemfen's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Tikcemfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.