Fembedjig is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unthinking fairy.

Fembedjig created the Sombrero Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fembedjig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fembedjig, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Fembedjig's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Fembedjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Never hurt birds.

3. Fembedjig loves sharks, so they must be respected.

4. Fembedjig must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.