Vanpastail Hugdavdit is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, strong lizard.

Vanpastail Hugdavdit created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanpastail Hugdavdit, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vanpastail Hugdavdit, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Vanpastail Hugdavdit's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Vanpastail Hugdavdit's Holy Commandments

1. Vanpastail Hugdavdit must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. You must pray to Vanpastail Hugdavdit seven times a day.