Jamfarcam is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-knowing otter.

Jamfarcam created gold eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamfarcam, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jamfarcam, it will be very unhappy.

Jamfarcam's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Jamfarcam's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near snakes while wearing turquoise boots and balancing nine iron spheres on your neck.

3. Hide from orange badgers for they are unholy.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near nematodes while wearing yellow kilts and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your face.