Tanwab is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, uncaring manatee.

Tanwab created parasitic wasps seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanwab, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tanwab, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Tanwab's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Tanwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near gulls while wearing orange coats and balancing three platinum spheres on your head.

2. Never chant in the presence of nematodes.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never eat bark.