Cutsandgamcar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, deceitful squirrel.

Cutsandgamcar created an up quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cutsandgamcar, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cutsandgamcar, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cutsandgamcar's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Cutsandgamcar's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick turtles.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

5. Do not make images of living things.