Fitbonpaktad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, sapient tortoise.

Fitbonpaktad created everything that exists three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitbonpaktad, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fitbonpaktad, it will turn you into a snail.

Fitbonpaktad's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Fitbonpaktad's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat pineapples.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never talk about manatees.

4. Erect seven silicon sculptures of Fitbonpaktad on top of important buildings.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.