Tinfutcam Tenvinster is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, caring hedgehog.

Tinfutcam Tenvinster created time and space two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tinfutcam Tenvinster, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tinfutcam Tenvinster, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tinfutcam Tenvinster's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tinfutcam Tenvinster's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not keep six ducks in a large pit.

4. Hide if seven pigs approach from the south.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.