Cadwigster is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, resourceful fly.

Cadwigster created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadwigster, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cadwigster, he will turn you into a worm.

Cadwigster's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Cadwigster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

5. You must love Cadwigster.