Gutdunfem is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, temperamental raven.

Gutdunfem created silver nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutdunfem, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gutdunfem, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gutdunfem's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Gutdunfem's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Gutdunfem six times a day.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

5. Never hurt ducks.