Tafjonfungabhugbudflapbest is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, intelligent hamster.

Tafjonfungabhugbudflapbest created carbon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafjonfungabhugbudflapbest, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tafjonfungabhugbudflapbest, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Tafjonfungabhugbudflapbest's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Tafjonfungabhugbudflapbest's Holy Commandments

1. Ants are not to be trusted.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. You must pray to Tafjonfungabhugbudflapbest five times a day.

4. Never write about dwarf planets.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.