Rotmonkem is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, calm deer.

Rotmonkem created Asia seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rotmonkem, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Rotmonkem, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Rotmonkem's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Rotmonkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Retreat if three frogs approach from the north.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.