Safwatarp is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, annoying dryad.

Safwatarp created silver seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Safwatarp, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Safwatarp, she will curse you with boils.

Safwatarp's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Safwatarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to doves while wearing rings.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Feed all hungry nematodes.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Safwatarp.

5. Hide from red monkeys for they are unholy.