Bifxucteen is a god.

She takes the form of a large, able hare.

Bifxucteen created energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifxucteen, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bifxucteen, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Bifxucteen's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Bifxucteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.