Quartxenjab is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unjust squid.

Quartxenjab created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartxenjab, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quartxenjab, she will destroy your favourite star.

Quartxenjab's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Quartxenjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.