Somdagquatbid is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, awesome tortoise.

Somdagquatbid created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somdagquatbid, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Somdagquatbid, she will turn you into a tree.

Somdagquatbid's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Somdagquatbid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Run away if six sharks approach from the west.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Somdagquatbid.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.