Parksitjab is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, weak shark.

Parksitjab created humanity two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parksitjab, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Parksitjab, it will send minions to preach to you.

Parksitjab's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Parksitjab's Holy Commandments

1. Parksitjab must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not wear magenta clothing.

4. Feed all hungry pigs.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.