Arpsidmad is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, capable crow.

Arpsidmad created bats five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpsidmad, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Arpsidmad, it will turn you into a mouse.

Arpsidmad's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Arpsidmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near monkeys while wearing orange corsets and balancing nine titanium spheres on your legs.

2. Never hurt geese.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always stare at clouds.