Badbum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, competent jellyfish.

Badbum created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Badbum, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Badbum, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Badbum's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Badbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Badbum must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never think about archaea.

4. Never feed lots of turnips to shrews while wearing brown hats.

5. Always help tapirs in need.