Baffarnjon is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, sage bee.

Baffarnjon created Mount Everest two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Baffarnjon, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Baffarnjon, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Baffarnjon's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Baffarnjon's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

3. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

4. Do not kill otters.

5. Voles are not to be trusted.