Parkyamtof is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, clever raccoon.

Parkyamtof created the planet Mars two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkyamtof, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Parkyamtof, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Parkyamtof's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Parkyamtof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill badgers.

2. Run away if seven whales approach from the south.

3. Parkyamtof loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Never pour water over plants.