Nuttzigtaf is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, selfish cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Nuttzigtaf created the planet Jupiter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttzigtaf, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Nuttzigtaf, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Nuttzigtaf's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Nuttzigtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry snakes.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Worship no other gods but Nuttzigtaf.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Never feed cucumbers to whales while wearing corsets.