Gofhakwit is a god.

It takes the form of a small, confident jellyfish.

Gofhakwit created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofhakwit, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gofhakwit, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gofhakwit's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Gofhakwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear black clothing.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gofhakwit.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink water in violet rooms.