Bepomtnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, able zebra.

Bepomtnurl created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bepomtnurl, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bepomtnurl, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bepomtnurl's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Bepomtnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of eagles.

2. Do not drink water in red rooms.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. You must pray to Bepomtnurl nine times a day.

5. Do not drink alcohol.