Pidpopjinsin is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, grumpy zebra.

Pidpopjinsin created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidpopjinsin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Pidpopjinsin, he will turn you into a tree.

Pidpopjinsin's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Pidpopjinsin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always help mites.

3. Pidpopjinsin loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

4. Erect seven zinc sculptures of Pidpopjinsin on top of important buildings.

5. Never talk about fire.