Sadquatxen is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, conceited gerbil.

Sadquatxen created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sadquatxen, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sadquatxen, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Sadquatxen's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Sadquatxen's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Erect five aluminium sculptures of Sadquatxen on top of important buildings.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

5. Never eat lemons.