Tadlarplin is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, fast goose.

Tadlarplin created a down quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadlarplin, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tadlarplin, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Tadlarplin's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Tadlarplin's Holy Commandments

1. Tadlarplin must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not take Tadlarplin's name in vain.

3. Run away if six geese approach from the west.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not dye your hair indigo.