Tarnutstan is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, self-assured dove.

Tarnutstan created a photon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tarnutstan, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tarnutstan, it will laugh at you.

Tarnutstan's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Tarnutstan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tarnutstan's name in vain.

2. Never write about solid mechanics.

3. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

4. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.