Gatgadcin is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, loving clam.

Gatgadcin created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gatgadcin, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gatgadcin, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gatgadcin's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Gatgadcin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight squirrels approach from the south.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never sing near rats.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.