Nartarf is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, grumpy fairy.

Nartarf created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Nartarf, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nartarf, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nartarf's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Nartarf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured doves.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Erect four silicon sculptures of Nartarf on top of important buildings.