Mintagflattail is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, bad-tempered armadillo.

Mintagflattail created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mintagflattail, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mintagflattail, she will turn you into a plant.

Mintagflattail's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Mintagflattail's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Mintagflattail's priests.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Learn four new languages a year.