Linbepstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, sapient jackal.

Linbepstaf created the Sun eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Linbepstaf, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Linbepstaf, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Linbepstaf's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Linbepstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about bacteria.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Never mention dolphins.