Laptitquat is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unthinking crocodile.

Laptitquat created life three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Laptitquat, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Laptitquat, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Laptitquat's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Laptitquat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

2. Always help whales.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. Never play with disobedient children.