Hengessugstancartimten is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic goose.

Hengessugstancartimten created the Sol system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hengessugstancartimten, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hengessugstancartimten, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hengessugstancartimten's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Hengessugstancartimten's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never feed lots of corn to snakes while wearing yellow shirts.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hengessugstancartimten.

4. Never feed melons to sheep while wearing shorts.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.