Homjignurt is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic salamander.

Homjignurt created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Homjignurt, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Homjignurt, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Homjignurt's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Homjignurt's Holy Commandments

1. Put Homjignurt first in all things.

2. Always help snails in need.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Homjignurt loves badgers, so they must be respected.

5. Pray towards the west.