Larnzimnel is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, prudent capybara.

Larnzimnel created life seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnzimnel, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Larnzimnel, it will boil you in a big pot.

Larnzimnel's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Larnzimnel's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six swans approach from the south.

2. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

3. Never feed rice to hamsters while wearing brown skirts.

4. Erect three silver sculptures of Larnzimnel on top of important buildings.

5. Do not commit murder.